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DesperationWhy can't I just be happy with my life?
Why did I have to go cause shit?
I realize now that what happened was my fault
I would do anything to go back and change it now
Why did I have to cause so many fights?
Why did you have to lie so much?
I never meant to hurt you
All this frustration
And us breaking up
Can we just put that behind us?
Or obliterate it entirely?
Abolish it from memory
Can we just start over?
The way it used to be?
I promise I won't do it again
I've learned from my lessons
And I think you've learned from yours
I can't keep this up anymore
Don't make me be "just friends"
All I ever wanted
Was to be happy with you
I'd die to have it back
And I'd be willing to give up everything
But now the only problem
The only one who has to make up their mind
And be willing to give it one more chance
I Will LiveSo many people use the phrase
"I would die for you"
But I couldn't imagine what you'd do
If I died for you
I would much rather live
Live to protect you
Live to see you smile
Live to be held in your arms
I will live
Even if I end up in a hospital bed
And the doctor tells me there is no chance
I will defy the odds
Even if all hope is gone
No matter how bad I want to give up
No matter how sweet death would feel
No matter how close to the edge I am
I will always be here for you
Smiling with you
And being held
I will live
From MeFrom the girl who used to be the love of your life
The girl to whom you used to say ''you'll be my wife''
From the day we met I always felt a certain trust
Our relationship I'll always look back to with love and lust
I know I screwed it all up, you don't have to say
And now I'm looking at it all in a different way
I blamed you for nearly everything, we know that's true
Now I know that I must take the blame too
I made mistakes and maybe I made one too many
But it's not like you didn't have your faults, honey
I got us in trouble, I checked out other girls
But I always thought you'd forgive me, since I let you into my world
I guess I was wrong, I guess I went too far
But you know I'll never get you out of my heart
Although you left me already, I beg for forgiveness
And know that you will dearly be missed
Even though we might not ever be together again
I have to ask you, will we still be friends?
Love Me or Love Me NotRelationships get hard,
But they're even harder when you don't know what to do.
One minute he loves you,
This continues for days,
But the next time you see each other,
He seem disinterested.
How am I supposed to love you like I used to,
When you don't treat me like you used to?
You never call.
You don't even text.
You're always texting her.
You don't even like taking time for me.
You're going to lose me if this keeps up.
One way or another,
You'll lose me.
I'll keep talking to him,
Even though you told me not to.
I just might change my whole mind,
About trying again,
And I just might let you go.
So make up your fucking mind.
You can't just love me when you feel like it.
Make up your mind.
Really choose me.
Or I swear,
I'll make the decision for you.
Not My HeroYou're not my hero
All the other girls
They think you're funny
They think you're brave
They think you're sexy
But not me
I know you
I know how you really are
And you're the most fucked up piece of shit I've ever seen
So go ahead
Lie to them
Let them think you're funny, brave and sexy
But just know this
They'll find out one day
They'll know what I know
They'll hate you just as much as I do
So have fun for now
Until one of them figures you out
Have fun for now
And know that you might be theirs,
But you are not
Worth It?There are times when you may ask yourself if certain things are "worth it." You want to know if things are worth your time, or a waste of energy
Are things really going to turn out how you want them to? Are what you want and what you need two entirely different things? Is the journey really worth the destination? Are your dreams unrealistic?
Difficult questions, I know. But you must come face-to-face with them at some point It's always either being miserable and waiting for things to be better, or free of the situation, and never being able to know how things really would have turned out.
What's even worse is being "on the fence." Your heart can't make up its mind, so there's nothing you can do, except cry the nights it's bad, and rejoice on the nights it's good.
Keep your chin up, because no one is going to do it for you
Everyone Needs SomeoneI wish I could feel normal again
Get over this
Not feel pain
Feel like my life has a purpose
If only I could just, not love
And be happy
Just be with my friends
If only that could satisfy me
Everyone spirals down
In a constant search for love
That feeling of emptyness
That slight tinge
Doesn't matter what your life is like
Everyone needs someone to love
Doesn't matter what you say
No one believes you
That you're happy all alone
Everyone needs someone
Give Up?It's hard to remember that everything will work out when you don't really believe it.
You feel like pulling your hair out,
You feel like crying,
You feel like punching something...
When you don't know what's going to happen next, it's kind of difficult to plan ahead.
You're scared to death,
Sitting in your room,
Thinking of them,
Hoping they're thinking of you.
Not knowing what to do next gets tedious, and you wonder if you should just give up.
Don't Cry Please...No more crying, I can't take it.
It hurts me to see those tears streaming down your face.
I'd fix everything for you if I could.
I'd trade my world for yours any day.
I'd give you my life,
Just to see you happy.
And so you don't have to go through any more pain.
Don't you see I'd do anything for you?
Can we please just be happy about that?
No more crying...
FantasiesI open my eyes to the overpowering sunlight
Pouring through half-open curtains,
Reminding me of the days ahead,
As well as the ones I'd left behind.
I arise with due apprehension,
Plant one foot onto the ground
And propel myself into
I turn the page.
Leave behind the fleeting comfort of the bed.
Into the foreground of blood and violence,
To find something no-one else wants
Grey strands fall
Where black once stood,
My sunken eyes betraying a mind
Left stumbling over unfamiliar images,
Helplessly trying to
I'd long since forgotten
And was sure I'd never know;
Is this the reality I was chasing?
Or should I pack my books
Love is..Love is in the small things
that fill the details of you
They are the great gifts
You give me every day
No expansive things
I don't care about
But the small touch
You give me every day
Love is small
which makes it big
It's all the details
combined into you
Love is this feeling inside
Every time I think of you
AloneI dim the lights,
And turn on the TV,
Even though I'm not watching I leave it on,
It's the news, seems like another fight,
Why's the world so violent?
I take my time going to sleep,
I close my eyes,
I see someone's face,
I think I recognize her,
But I can't remember her name,
Who is she?
With eyes like that it must be a sign,
But I brush it aside,
Even in my fantasies,
I'm afraid of showing my feelings inside.
What's wrong with me?
My life isn't that bad
What's wrong with me?
I won't accept that I'm sad
I'm not, am I?
Am I? I don't know
The next day, I go to school,
I hear laughter,
Is someone talking to me?
I hear voices after all,
Though I can't make out any of them
Is there something wrong with my hearing?
There must be.
Even thought people are laughing,
I wonder how many are faking it,
How many are wearing masks behind their depression?
I look around and find my group of friends,
Is that the right word to describe them?
Sometimes I wonder
ChemistryWithin your eyes I felt a calling,
It froze me in place.
As if somehow my mind just knew,
I'd yearn for your embrace.
I couldn't fight this magnetism,
Pulling me in your direction
Every action turned to the thought,
"How can I win your affection?"
I knew that you were perfect,
From the second that we spoke
It was as if I'd fallen into a dream,
And gladly I never woke
For wrapped up in your arms
I found my greatest desire
Someone to make me feel alright,
Regardless of what may transpire
I used to dread the future,
There was so much left unknown.
But as long as I've got you
I will always have a home.
I Love You I love you
There is always that one special person you wish to see every day.
What they say and what they do is special in every way.
At the drop of a hat, they are able to make you smile.
At that moment, nothing else could possibly be worthwhile.
Forever YoungIf you could live forever, would you take that chance?
Imagine, watching your own life from afar.
Remembering the heartbreak and the tears,
Seeing all the people who left you with scars;
Coming to terms with your hidden fears.
Remember the day when you said to me,
"I want to die young or live forever."
Surely after all these years, you can see
You cannot simply wish for whatever.
Because every time I see you cry,
I'm reminded of just how much I love you.
How could you possibly wish to die?
If only you knew, if only you knew
Do you really want to live forever?
FallenAnd though I crave to know he loves me,
at the same time I'm afraid,
Knowing the words that I'll have to say,
because there is simply no other way.
We cannot be together
from the start, we knew that
yet we continued talking,
so much not to cross the line.
I tried hard not to fall for him,
faking deafness to his beautiful words,
striving for nonchalance,
yet succeeding at none.
Because just as I know we have no future,
I couldn't have stopped it before it was born,
the feeling of loving, and to be sure of that love.
And still I cannot change it,
even if the pain becomes too much.
Because that means that I've been happy
so much more than I had hoped.
Each moment I got to know him,
it only made me feel it more,
even though he is not perfect,
or what I was looking for.
Yet knowing him has shown me,
that maybe I was wrong,
that wanting and needing
are the same, yet they are not.
He's always making me happy
and he doesn't even try,
thoughts of him are playing
every second in my mind.
Stand My GroundHow much more of my might would it take,
to stand my ground and make it shake,
scream at people who are fake,
and say, "This, I cannot take!"
To all those laughs
which label me quite daft;
All behind my back,
Is there something I lack?
And the cruel eyes that crush me!
What more of me can they see,
if nothing I have I can hide,
and nothing boring enough to let slide?
But if all the might in the world I did have,
I'd shout out loud with one quick jab,
"Stop the poo and cut the crap,
I'm not your average lonely sap!"
ShardsYou were a painless
Your bright light suddenly blacked with the
ashes of burnt hope
you've failed me
failed yur last Test
with my own knife
I guess we can consider ourselves
I dont want to be even
I play to win
And with these tears
I drown the miracle of
What Could Have Been
I Can't Tell...I hurt so much but I can't tell anyone.
My stomach is in knots,
Eating itself alive.
My palms are sweaty,
But I feel so cold.
I can't handle seeing you flirt with other people.
If I weren't here you'd be off with them.
I can't handle knowing all my friends are having fun.
I'm sitting at home because I'm too sad for fun.
I can't handle that man dying.
It's been too long since I've seen him and he's giving up.
I don't know what to do.
I'm going to end up dying, too.
If I could just tell someone,
Maybe these chest pains would go away.
If I told just one person
These headaches might ease up.
But I can't tell anyone.
My stomach will burn itself up.
I'll shrivel up.
And no one will know what happened.
The Parlour IncidentOne day in July, I believe it was, I found myself sitting with several acquaintances in Christopher's parlour. It was one of those deliciously lazy afternoons which only the summer in her full glory can bring. The room had a wan, listless light to it, relaxing the other guests and myself as we languidly chatted over tea and crumpets. The air was also sluggishly heavy, dulling the senses to a slowly-blended calm engendered by the heat of St. Othniel's southerly climate.
At length, after much stimulating conversation, Christopher stood, producing a book of sheet music.
"What do you all say to a bit of music?" he asked.
"Certainly," I answered.
"Oh yes, please do darling!" Tabitha exclaimed, "he's quite the maestro."
Christopher laughed, shaking his head.
"Now, now love, I'd not go that far."
He strode over to the piano as the other guests urged him on. Ida entered the room bearing a merrily steaming teapot and more crumpets.
"More tea sirs?" she inquired, shooting sideways glances at her
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More